• How does an Italian get into an honest business? Through the skylight.

• These three spies get captured one day - a French spy, a German spy and an Italian spy. Their captors come into the cell where the spies are being held, grab the French spy, take him to the next room and tie his hands behind a chair. They then proceed to torture him for 2 hours before he finally cracks, answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets. The captors then throw the French spy back into the cell and grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair in the next room too and torture him for 4 hours before he finally cracks and tells them what they want to know. They throw him back into the cell and grab the Italian spy. Once again, they tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing. 4 hours go by and the spy isn't talking. Then 8 hours, then 16 and after 24 hours they give up and throw him back into the cell.The German and French spy are impressed and ask him how he managed to not talk. The Italian spy says, " I wanted to, but I couldn't move my hands!"

• Did you hear about the winner of the Italian beauty contest? Me neither.

• What's the difference between an Italian grandmother and an elephant? Fifty pounds and a black dress.

• What does FIAT stand for? Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

• Why are so many Italian men called Tony? When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp 'To N.Y'. on them.

===========================================================================================================

• Q: What is the Guillotine? : A French chopping centre.

• Q: Which ghost was president of France? A: Charles de Ghoul.

• Q: Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?A: He was declared to be in Seine.

• Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in France? A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin. 

• Q: Why don't the French eat M&M candies? A: They're too hard to peel. 
  

============================================================================================================

• Prečo Ježiša Krista neutopili ale ho ukrižovali? Kto by chcel mať nad dverami zavesené akvárium.

• Ježiš zmenil vás život. Chcete uložiť zmeny? 

• Príde Janko Hraško pred nebeskú bránu. Keď už chce vstúpiť dnu, dobehne k nemu svätý Peter a hovorí mu:

• - Ale, ale Janko! Ty si zabíjal ľudí a kládol bomby! Ty nemôžeš ísť sem.

  - Ja sem nechcem ísť. Len som vám prišiel povedať, že máte päť minút na evakuáciu.

============================================================================================================